Recently I've done a lot of thinking : A LOT of thinking. About those people I used to call friends. I know around February and March I did a lot of angry posts, and bi-polar posts about how I didn't need my friends to be happy and that I wouldn't spare a thought for them, nor would I miss them.
Well... the first part was true.
Truth be told, I miss them more than a heart misses a beat.
I miss laughing with them about Alex Davies' hairstyle.
I miss swooning over people in bands and pretending we were them...
I miss driving two hours to see them, feeling excited and planning what to do the entire way.
I miss going into town and buying the most random things.
I miss sitting in parks and 'boy watching'.
I miss eating candy in the rain.
I miss having those heart to hearts only a friend can provide.
I miss sharing clothes and make up.
I miss silly little arguments about whether the string on a guitar is a or c.
I miss singing loudly and out of tune to songs.
I miss getting ready for parties together.
I miss dying each other's hair.
I miss going to the cinema and laughing in unison at the film.
I miss being criticised for my weirdness.
I miss crying together over past relationships.
I miss watching chick flicks and eating ice cream.
I miss laying out on the grass and writing songs.
I miss pretending to be three years younger to get a bus ride cheaper.
I miss my feet hurting from epic shopping trips.
I miss playing top trumps in the back of a car.
I miss eating chocolate coated strawberries (and sticking our heads in the chocolate fountain)
I miss getting drunk and dancing in heels on a wall.
I miss three of us sharing a single bed.
I miss complaining about the lack of space in said bed.
I miss walking miles to a skate ramp and getting stuck at the top of it.
I miss random phone calls to random brother's mates.
I miss buying childish cups from Claires accessories and refusing to part from them.
I miss pretending to be said random brother and his friend.
I miss playing little big planet and making it an epic movie.
I miss dressing up randomly.
I miss photoshoots.
I miss shooting music videos in the woods.
I miss rolling around the football pitch and getting filthy.
I miss last summer, and all it should have been, and all it wasn't. The tears, the heartaches, the laughter, the smiles, the dancing, the singing, the groaning, the fights, the hugs, the talks, the shouts, the stupidness, the sensibleness.
The friends that once were, and never could be again.
RIP last summer.
"It's the end of the summer, it's the end of it all. Those days are gone, it's over now. We're moving on...."
Now who will wipe away my tears??
(Blog Title and Extract: End Of The Summer - Theory of a Deadman)
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