"I Dreamed A Dream In Times Gone By"

As my acting experience widens, I thought it would be fitting to jot down some roles I would love to get the opportunity to play... next year at Theatre by the Lake we get the opportunity to take part in a musical, favourites for this being 'Sweeney Todd', 'Grease', 'Wicked' and 'Annie'. I would love to be in all of these (except maybe Wicked, as I've never seen it).

These are some roles I would LOVE to play in musicals:

Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber Of Fleet Street - Mrs. Lovett
Annie - Grace; Miss. Hannigan
Grease - Rizzo
Oliver! - Nancy
Mamma Mia! - Sophie; Rosie
Glee - Rachel Berry
Hairspray - Amber Von Tussle; Penny Pingleton
Moulin Rouge - Satine

"A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed."

First post in AGES!! So, I patched things up with Charli and Thom... we're friends again and to be honest it's like we never spent 3/4 of a year apart. It just shows how strong our friendship once was. We've gone back to talking about anything and everything just like old times. And I have a new friend called Pippa who is like my best friend! She's amazing, we can talk about anything and everything and not care :) xx

Also, an update... Niall and I are no longer together. He dumped me 15-9-2010 (17 months after I asked him out) ... it was a good ride and I won't go into complete detail just yet of how this break up effected me... let's just say I was really bad for a while but then I realised hey, he's not worth it. Screw him. So ... I dropped it. It was still hard having to deal with the property of his I still own... and vice versa... but it's fine so far....

Now I've moved on. He could boil his head in the Styx and I wouldn't care. He's welcome to his slut of an ex he is now dating :)

And I have bigger (metaphorical) fish to fry :)

"The One That Got Away.."

Summer after high school when we first met
We make out in you mustang to radio head
And on my 18th birthday we bought matching tattoos
Used to steal your parent's liquor and climb to the roof
Talk about our future like we had a clue
Never planned that one day i'd be losing you

In another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises be us against the world
In another life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away.

I was [?] you were my johnny cash
Never one without the other we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on...woe
Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you down town singin the blues
It's time to face the music i'm no longer your muse

But in another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises be us against the world
In another life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away.

The one the one the one

The one that got away.

All his money can't buy me a time machine. no
Can't replace you with a million rings. no
I shoulda told you what you meant to me. woe
Cause now I pay the price.

In another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises be us against the world
In another life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away.

The one, the one, the one

In another life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away



Guess what happened to me in the past month? :(

"Schoolbag In Hand, She Leaves Home In The Early Morning, Waving Goodbye With An Absent-Minded Smile"

Well today was a total waste of time!! I got up bright an early ready to go the my first day at sixth form - the first day of proper government education for 4 years. Picture this, got my school bag packed - 4 notebooks, pencil case, reading book, drink, money for lunch - and then I get there to find we're only staying for assembly! You can imagine how pissed off I was! We sat through an hour long assembly about rules and regulations, were given a timetable and then we were sent home. I'm so far hating the lack of organisation!!!

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

" They Might Be Bigger, But We're Faster And Never Scared "

I haven't blogged in a while. A lot has happened, but truth be told I haven't found suitable lyrics to entitle with. I swear Monday night will be a LONG post about my first day at SIXTH FORM!!!!

For now, I shall leave you with my current favourite song and life-lines. (This is the song I'm relating to at the moment. The bit in BOLD is the bit I most relate to.)

CHANGE
Taylor Swift

And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you're getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through

Because these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh

So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now from things they never found
They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away and say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this

'Cause these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh

Tonight we stand up on our knees
To fight for what we worked for all these years
And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
Will we stand up champions tonight?

It was the night things changed, can you see it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution, throw your hands up, 'cause we never gave in

We'll sing hallelujah!
We sang hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

"I've Been Hurt So Many Times, Lets Be Realistic I'm Only A Statistic To You."

Just a little blog post to say - I'm not cut out for being the only girl in a household! This weekend Mum went away and immediately I sorta automatically was given her role. I did some cleaning, all the cooking, and occupying my brother yesterday whilst she wasn't there. I'm not complaining - it was just a shock.

Anywho :) How's everybody ?




(Blog title: Statistics by Madina Lake)

"Here We Are At The End, Say Goodbye To All Your Friends. Here We Go Watching The Sun Go Round, Sitting On A Rooftop, Making Time Stop...."

Just a little blog to say; sometimes the choices we make are heartbreaking, but most of the time they work out for the better. Every cloud has a silver lining, right?

Recently I've done a lot of thinking : A LOT of thinking. About those people I used to call friends. I know around February and March I did a lot of angry posts, and bi-polar posts about how I didn't need my friends to be happy and that I wouldn't spare a thought for them, nor would I miss them.

Well... the first part was true.

Truth be told, I miss them more than a heart misses a beat.
I miss laughing with them about Alex Davies' hairstyle.
I miss swooning over people in bands and pretending we were them...
I miss driving two hours to see them, feeling excited and planning what to do the entire way.
I miss going into town and buying the most random things.
I miss sitting in parks and 'boy watching'.
I miss eating candy in the rain.
I miss having those heart to hearts only a friend can provide.
I miss sharing clothes and make up.
I miss silly little arguments about whether the string on a guitar is a or c.
I miss singing loudly and out of tune to songs.
I miss getting ready for parties together.
I miss dying each other's hair.
I miss going to the cinema and laughing in unison at the film.
I miss being criticised for my weirdness.
I miss crying together over past relationships.
I miss watching chick flicks and eating ice cream.
I miss laying out on the grass and writing songs.
I miss pretending to be three years younger to get a bus ride cheaper.
I miss my feet hurting from epic shopping trips.
I miss playing top trumps in the back of a car.
I miss eating chocolate coated strawberries (and sticking our heads in the chocolate fountain)
I miss getting drunk and dancing in heels on a wall.
I miss three of us sharing a single bed.
I miss complaining about the lack of space in said bed.
I miss walking miles to a skate ramp and getting stuck at the top of it.
I miss random phone calls to random brother's mates.
I miss buying childish cups from Claires accessories and refusing to part from them.
I miss pretending to be said random brother and his friend.
I miss playing little big planet and making it an epic movie.
I miss dressing up randomly.
I miss photoshoots.
I miss shooting music videos in the woods.
I miss rolling around the football pitch and getting filthy.

I miss last summer, and all it should have been, and all it wasn't. The tears, the heartaches, the laughter, the smiles, the dancing, the singing, the groaning, the fights, the hugs, the talks, the shouts, the stupidness, the sensibleness.

The friends that once were, and never could be again.

RIP last summer.

"It's the end of the summer, it's the end of it all. Those days are gone, it's over now. We're moving on...."




Now who will wipe away my tears??



(Blog Title and Extract: End Of The Summer - Theory of a Deadman)

"I Am A Vampire, I Am A Vampire"

"I CAN STILL SMELL IT!!"

Let me explain. We went to the woods today - me and Emily - and we played Eclipse for a bit (having been to see it on Saturday night). I was being Jasper and Emily was being her created character Heart, who drank human blood but didn't tell me.

The game went like this :

Heart feeds whilst Jasper hunts. Heart is Jasper's sister, so they meet up again.

Jasper: I can smell human blood.

JASPER sniffs the air confusedly.

Heart: A human must have cut themselves on a branch or something...

JASPER sniffs more.

Jasper: Suppose

The pair flit.

Jasper: I can still smell it!!

~


So the idea was hatched about New Moon... the bit where Jasper tries to kill Bella over blood.. Emmott drags Jasper away, but then Jasper appears on the other side of the window, pressed against it - JASPER: I CAN STILLL SMELL IT!!! - Emmott drags Jasper away again - JASPER: NO NO NO!!

That night, Bella has a nightmare about Victoria. There is a noise at the window and Bella sits up.. Jasper appears : I CAN STILL SMELL IT!!!




You had to be there...


WOO!! TEAM JASPER!

"If You Still Care You'll Never Let Me Know"

Quite a long one, I'm afraid.

So Iona tried to get back into contact. She text my mum saying 'This may be a bit too much to ask, but could you put me in contact with Millie. I realise how hideous we all acted'. So I decided to give her a chance... hear her out. So I contacted her on Yahoo.

This is what I said:
This is so hard for me, actually talking to you after so long of thinking I'm better off without you and the others. Thing is I wanna forgive all and be friends with you again so bad, but truth be told I don't know if I can bring myself to be hurt so much again. The friendship we had was so bloody amazing, I lay in bed when I can't sleep most nights thinking of last summer and being in Charli's bedroom and getting ready for the Murder Mystery - dying your hair blue then grey. I look back on all the pictures regularly... but each picture brings the scars back to fruition as well as the happiness. I guess the issue is trust, and if you all could badmouth me so much on that facebook comment branch, then what did you say about me with each other? Friends are supposed to be there for each other ALL the time, and friends are supposed to be supportive and happy for other friends. Niall doesn't want me to be even writing this - with good intentions and plenty of reasons - but I figured no harm has really ever come from a few words. Ha.. lie of the century. I don't know if I can put myself in such a - now apparent - vulnerable position again. I don't know if I can ever really trust any friends as much as I trusted you guys. I don't know if what happened will ever happen again.... insert Iona's answer here.

So many times I've thought about getting back in contact with you again, but then I remember all the hurtful words and I stop myself. Maybe we should give it a shot - just me and you. NOT Thom and definitely not Tess. Not sure about Charli yet... but just you for now. Lets see what happens.


And then two days later she replied:
i'd love that. After we fell out i had a massive breakdown it was our fault, and i deserved it. I never wanted to hurt you :/ i'm sorting my life out at the minute and i'm not a bitch like i used to be, but i'm still nonie (: xx


So I replied:
Maybe we can give it a go then. I've changed an awful lot too. I'm much more confident with myself and happy with who I am and where I am. I've stopped being so dependent on people and I've decided to be a kid, not a grown up, because I realise one reason why you lot got all wound up was because I was being all Mumsy and kinda controlling, for which I apologise. It was just because I cared so much. When me and Niall nearly fell out bigtime because of it I realised I needed to take a step back and take it easy. :)

She didn't reply for a while, so I sent her one of my msn addresses (one I don't use much) and we got talking. (This was earlier today) To begin with we treated it like back when we first met over msn, via Charli. We got on alright, not much awkwardness. Reintroduced ourselves, 'Hey, I'm Millie. I'm sixteen and I'm a drama freak. I follow the Olympian religion and love Percy Jackson' and that worked great. But then we broke for tea and when we both came back we got onto the subject of how Thom, Tess and Charli changed and evolved (or devolved) over the past months. Thom is still a diva and has now lured Iona into the mirror trap he once encased me into. I was warning her about what he's capable of, but her replies were in his defence. I was saddened because I remember when I was once like that. Then we got onto the subject of Niall and I realised I'm not strong enough to get sucked into her world again. Immediately when she started talking about herself trying to 'be less depressive' I felt my chest begin to tighten once more and my happiness flowing away.

So I'm throwing in the towel, for good this time. I'm sorry, but peace pacts are obviously not how I play in this war ... learnt from the Goddess Athena.

So this is the pawn signing out once and for all from this chess board. Thom (King) is impossible to put into check whilst his queen (Iona) is by his side. He manipulates her with sweet words - words that instead of enchant, ensnare and pull her down, down, down. Tess and Charli, the rook and knight, will never give up their posts, but are as disposable as tonights pizza wrapping.

So long black and white chess board, hello colourful world.

Hey, I just hatched an idea for a short story.

Toodle oo, back to happy me.

Pawn to 3-dom. ;)



(Title: Snuff by Slipknot)

"When You Need Someone To Save You When You Think You're Gonna Drown, Just Wrap Your Arms Around Me And Pull Me DOWN" (Time To Say Goodbye)

Some lyrics for the ex friends who are trying to get back in contact... here's something dedicated to you. The bit at the end is highlighted in bold because that's the most relatable... :)

(Time To Say Goodbye by Simple Plan)

Youtube link here so you can hear it : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O3cPp3oX4A

I just don't want to waste another day
I'm trying to make things right
But you shove it in my face
And all those things you've done to me I can't erase
And I can't keep this inside
It's time to say goodbye

On the first day that I met you
I should have known to walk away
I should have told you you were crazy
And disappear without a trace
But instead I stood there waiting
Hoping you would come around
But you always found a way to let me down

[Chorus]
It's time to say goodbye
(I just don't want to waste another day)
It's time to say goodbye
(Cause things will never be the same)
It's time to say goodbye
(You make me think I need to walk away)
It's time to say goodbye
It's time to say goodbye

After all the things I've done for you
You never tried to do the same
It's like you always play the victim
And I'm the one you always blame
When you need someone to save you
When you think you're going to drown
(Think you're going to drown)
You just grab your arms around me and pull me down

[Chorus]
It's time to say goodbye
(I just don't want to waste another day)
It's time to say goodbye
(Cause things will never be the same)
It's time to say goodbye
(You make me think I need to walk away)
It's time to say goodbye
It's time to say goodbye

Now I'm gone
It's too late
You can't fix
Your mistakes
I was trying to save you from you
So you scream
So you cry
I can see
Through your lies
You're just trying to change me
(Trying to change me)

Somewhere in the distance
There's a place for me to go
I don't want you to hate me
But I think you need to know
You're weighing on my shoulders
And I'm sick of feeling down
So I guess it's time for me to say goodbye

"Without Love, Life Is Rock 'N' Roll Without A Drummer"

I just love this song... so very much! And I can kinda relate to some of it.
I WANNA ACT IN HAIRSPRAY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I might sing Without Love for my Alice In Wonderland audition... or I Can Hear The Bells... or Welcome To The 60's...

Hmm... which do you think??


Without Love..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjIEDlg-UWc
LINK: Once i was a selfish fool
Who never understood
never looked inside myself
Though on the outside, i looked good!
Then we met and you made me
The man i am today
Tracy, i'm in love with you
No matter what you weigh
'Cause...

LINK - TRACY(& ENSEMBLE)
Without love
Life is like the seasons with
No summer
Without love
Life is rock 'n' roll without
A drummer
Tracy, i'll be yours forever
'Cause I never wanna be
Without love
Tracy, never set me free
No, i ain't lyin'
Never set me free, Tracy,
No, no, no!!


SEAWEED
Living in the ghetto
Black is everywhere ya go
Who'd 've thought i'd love a girl
With skin as white as winter's snow

PENNY
In my ivory tower
Life was just a hostess snack
But now i've tasted chocolate
And i'm never going back

PENNY & SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE
'Cause without love
Life is like a beat that you can't follow
Without love
Life is doris day at the Apollo
Darling, i'll be yours forever
'Cause i never wanna be
Without love
So darlin never set me free

PENNY & SEAWEED
Oh, I'm yours forever
Never set me free

PENNY & SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE
No, no, no!

LINK
If i'm left without my babydoll
I don't kno wat ill do

TRACY
Link, i've got to break out
So that i can get my hands on you

SEAWEED
And girl, if i can't touch you
and i'm gonna lose control

PENNY
Seaweed, you're my black white knight
I've found my blue-eyed soul

SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE
Sweet freedom is our goal

LINK
Trace, i wanna kiss ya!

TRACY
Let me out at the next toll

ALL
'Cause without love

SEAWEED
Life is like a prom that won't invite us

ALL
Without love

LINK
Life's getting my big break and laryngitis

ALL
Without love

PENNY
Life's a '45' when you can't buy it

ALL
Without love

TRACY
Life is like my mother on a diet

ALL
Like a week that's only mondays
Only ice cream never sundaes
Like a circle with no center
Like a door marked "do not enter!"

Darlin i'll be yours forever
'Cause i never wanna be
Without love
now you've captured me
without love
I surrender happily
without love
Seaweed never set me free
no no no
I ain't lying
never set me free
no no no
no i don't wanna live
without love
Darlin you have best believed me,
never leave me
without love!


I Can Hear The Bells
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txciAos9R_w


Welcome To The Sixties....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V97XiAdsVXc&feature=related


Which do you think?

"Truth Be Told, I Miss You. And Truth Be Told, I'm Lying...!"

So, this is a song that I listen to when I start missing my old friends. The lyrics are so full of anger and hurt at being rejected by Tyson (singer's) ex girfriend, but it can also be put to friends, as I do.

Please read the lyrics, it's an amazing song.

(And it's also one of the only songs I can sing ALL the way through.. in TUNE .. wonder why :L:L mostly the songs I can sing are the ones that mostly appeal... anyway... enjoy the angst... and also, please try to see how I can relate.)


GIVES YOU HELL
by THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS

I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place

And your still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

Now wheres you picket fence love
And wheres that shiny car,
And did it ever get you far

You've never seem so tense love
I've never seen you fall so hard,
Do you know where you are

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where'd it all go wrong, the list goes on and on

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see, what you've done to me
You can take back your memories they're no good to me
And here's all your lies,
You can look me in my eyes
With that sad sad look that you wear so well

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song and sing along oh you'll never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along I hope that it will treat you...
WELL!

"You're The Voice I Hear Inside My Head, The Reason That I'm Singing."

I haven't blogged for ages. It's really weird how I blog loads in one day, and then don't for weeks. Maybe there's a syndrome for it... 'blogalotthennotalot syndrome'. :L

I really need more followers on my blog... if people could refer??

Thanks x

(Blog Title: Gotta Find You by Joe Jonas)

"I'm Sorry I Can't Be Perfect"

Just a song dedicated to my Daddy :-

"Perfect"

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect


By Simple Plan

SEE THE SONG OF THE WEEK TOWARDS THE TOP OF THE BLOG FOR THE SONG & IT'S VIDEO

It's for a particular reason, but it kinda hurts to go too much into it, so please just read these lyrics and appreciate ... :)

"But Uh-Oh Those Summer Nights."

I gladly welcome in the Summer and I hope you'll join me! Usually in the past I've been hateful towards the summer - I hated getting hot and sweaty and bothered, heck, still do. But I've discovered four little things that are going to make this summer so much better. Number 1 : Deoderant - super strong, anti persperant! Number 2 : Aldi's Brasseries' Shandy - god that stuff is nice, and hardly any alcohol. Number 3 : A diet to lessen my stomach and thighs - it's called 'No Bread!' And Number 4 : Bikini's and thin skirts - very helpful. Never before have I dared to wear a bikini, but today I bought a lovely 50's style one, kinda like that which Katy Perry wears on the cover of her album. I haven't tried it on yet, but hopefully i'll feel confident in it. Oh, and a bonus Number 5 : Venus disposable razors... very very VERY helpful for days when I want to lay in my cossie and sunbathe!

Bring on the sunshine!!


(Blog Title: Summer Nights - Grease)

"Don't You Bring Around A Cloud To Rain On My Parade!"

Heya :)

I have a LOT to tell you, but not a lot I can write online I'm afraid... :( shame. Erm, what have I been up to?
Not much really. I went to home ed group yesterday and we held a HomeEdGroup Election. I was in a party with Emily.

We're called the Millamanians and we're all about feminism and fairness.

It was real fun :)

"What I Am Needs No Excuses "

Meet my new religion :
http://carlinazenvampirism.blogspot.com/

:)

(Blog Title: I Am What I Am - John Barrowman)

"Worry Often Gives A Small Thing A Big Shadow, Worry Bankrupts The Spirit."

Why do I worry so much when Niall goes out drinking?? It worries be half to death...

Advice? Please...

:(

(Blog Title: Shadow Of Lucifer, Wings Of Christ by PermanentJetlag)

"I've Got A House In The Back Of My Head, But I Can't Find A Permanent Resident, But The Market's Down And The Area's Not So Good These Days"

Just a quickie to say HELLO. People haven't been active on the comment front recently... or the blogging front for that matter. Hoping everyone's okay!

So... I'm missing Niall a lot ... but I'm seeing him soon. The weeks go really quickly now! It's a good thing.

I'm earning a bit of money in the next few weeks... hey, it's my turn to be the bank now :)

This week I haven't done much... Monday was a quietish day. Tuesday we went into town and I bought fairy wings :G Fairies are a big part of my creativeness at the moment. Plus it was the birthday party of one of the children I babysit today and we were invited. It was pirate and fairy fancy dress... - think Peter Pan - it was quite fun actually. I love dressing up.
Wednesday we went to home ed group and me and Emily played pretend games in the woods. It's lovely to be able to shrink to my childhood again.
Thursday was election day. Mum went to vote and I went with her... and I got asked if I was voting ! It really made my morning... then I went to buy a lottery ticket and got asked for I.D... that ruined the mood.
Friday I went swimming with Emily and then stayed at her house. We had a proper fun sleep over.. girly chats and ice cream and music... it was amazing.
Saturday I slept the entire afternoon!! I was so tired!!

And today I went to Youth Theatre. I need to stop wearing red to drama... the sweatpatches are huge :L :G
Cough. Cough.

Anyway, off to watch Friends

Toodles x

(Blog Title: Poison by All Time Low)

"I Can't See Your Star. How Can The Darkness Feel So Wrong? And I'm Alone Now."

This is a monologue I have written by adapting the last three pages of Godchild : Book 8. There were only a few lines to work with so I think I've done pretty well. This will be my monologue at drama if we do them. I already know most of it off by heart.

Godchild: The Ending

Scene: Dominic Crehador recounting seeing Cain and Riff’s corpses.
Type: Monologue
Book: 8
Characters: Dominic Crehador.

Dominic:
That day still stands so vividly in my mind. It was over six years ago, and yet it feels as though only days have passed. I know not whether telling Mary Weather the truth about her brother’s death all those years ago is the right thing to do. She has still not managed to get over it. I know not whether telling her that I heard her brother’s voice after death is a good thing or not. Reflecting back on that day – that incident at the gates of Hell – I can no longer remember whether I used my powers as a medium to hear it, or whether they were actual words. They seemed so... real. But I know for certain that I received this ring – Cain’s cousin Suzette’s ring – and that ‘feeling’. That feeling of a bond never broken.
The sight when I stumbled into those ruins – that tomb – the sight that I saw that day... it was neither that of a Master and servant, nor a sight of dependency. And of course it was not about love. I shall most likely never be able to forget the sight of something so eternal. It was too dreamlike... Lord I wish it was a dream. He was stuck-up and snooty, but he was still a friend. They would still be here if it were a dream. I still cannot believe it after all these years, because at that moment when I stumbled into the tomb, much like when I first met the Earl, Cain was so self-confident and even a little arrogant. He possessed a balance of devilishness and holiness that could fascinate those around him in an instant. Yes, even at that moment, as though he were going to an evening ball in London – unchangingly – no matter what trials he had faced, he continued as gracefully as ever to smile. He held out his hand to me and said, ‘Take care of her for me, Crehador. Tell Oscar if he so much as hurts her in one way I will forever haunt him. Stand back, Crehador, but remain present. You owe me this, Charlatan.’ I can’t help smiling at that. He was always so stubborn.
No, I don’t think I will tell Miss. Mary Weather all of this. I shall bare it in my heart until the day my soul leaves this body. Mary doesn’t need to know this... I am glad to bare it for her.
Cain and Riff will remain eternally bound forever. As it always should be.


Let me know what you think to it :)


(Blog Title: Your Star by Evanescence)

"We Are The Young We're All Right!"

Raising Chicks

Just some things I've noticed in the first few days of Peanut and Penguin's lives.

1) Chicks grow at an amazing rate! At a few hours old they were already the size of an apple. 2 days old they were the size of a pear and now at about 4 days old they're the size of a mango!

2) They call out for their Mummy. It's a different noise to the happy little chirping they emmit normally. It's more of a call - and it really is heartbreaking for the sensitive soul! This noise is made when they're alone in a room... as soon as I or my Mum enters they hush up.

3) They're not as daft as their adult counter parts. Penguin has learnt that if he/she stands on the food container and jumps, he/she can almost escape!

4) They prefer food where they can bend to get it. They prefer the chick crumbs to be on the ground rather than in the trough... somehow it's easier to get.

5) Sleep is for the boring and bored. On their first day they kept having little 'micro sleeps' - i.e falling over where they stand to catch a few zz's, and then waking up and being bright eyed and bushy feathered once more. Now they hardly sleep at all - just doze for a second.

6) Whatever you can do, I can do better. Chicks are competitive. Peanut drank two mouthfuls of water in succession - Penguin watched this and then drank three. Peanut had a power nap in the corner - Penguin had a power nap on the food trough perch! Penguin is definately the typical younger sibling.

7) I can see youuuu.... Penguin has learnt that he/she can look through the handles of the box to make sure there are people still in the room with him/her.

8) Combing keeps the feathers looking young! Already they know how to groom their feathers and brush them up to look more impressive and eye catching.

9) Penguin's can't fly - and neither can Peanuts. No matter how many runs up the seal puppet you do, you still cannot fly off the end to freedom - I tell you this now.

10) Straw is not practical, nor yummable. Straw is hard to balance on even for the most elite acrobats, and it most certainly does not taste nice.

11) I can wrap Mummy Millie around my little feather. Just the slightest adorable look or teeniest chirp and Millie is there giving us cuddles and kisses.

(Blog Title: We Are The Young by McFly)

"Old Maria Had A Farm, Ee Ii Ee Ii Oh... With A Cheep Cheep Here..."

This is Peanut and Penguin. See if you can guess which is which? ? Penguin is Niall's chicken and Peanut is mums.

"Hey There Delilah"

Check out my Godchild blog : http://earlofpoisons.blogspot.com/

At the moment its just character profiles and there are some spoilers.. there is warnings though before hand :) xx

Comments are VERY welcome :)

Ta x

(Blog Title: Hey There, Delilah by Plain White T's... if you've read Godchild you'll know why thats significant )

"I Wanna Be Laughed At, Laughed With, Just Because. I Wanna Feel Weightless And That Should Be Enough"

So I'm thinking of changing my style again.. to Mangacore.

Basically I will dress like Anime characters... japanese people do it!







Here are some pointers as to what Anime looks like...

And here are my ideas. I own the following :








I have two petticoats and some ties, but I need to get a black one and maybe some hair ribbons and hair extensions. I also want to get this dress -



So some how I need lots of money :L:L

Peace out xx Sorry for the pointless blog post xxx

(Blog title: Weightless by All Time Low)

"It's A Love Story Baby Just Say Yes"

"The Silence Isn't So Bad, Till I Look At My Hands And Feel Bad, Cuz The Spaces Between My Fingers Are Right Where Yours Fit Perfectly "

I'm reeealllly missing Niall right now, so I'm going to copy some song lyrics by some bands that I dedicate to him ... just because I miss him that much.

Wait For Me
Theory Of A Deadman

You are not alone tonight
Imagine me there by your side
It's so hard to be here so far away from you
I'm counting the days till
I'm finally done
I'm counting them down, yeah, one by one
It feels like forever till I return to you
But it helps me on those lonely nights
It's that one thing that keeps me alive

[Chorus:]
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently

No one else knows the feeling inside
We hang up the phone without saying goodnight
Because it's the sound of your voice that brings me home
It's never been easy to say
But it's easier when I've gone away

[Chorus:]
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

[Bridge:]
What I'd give
What I'd do
Knowing I'm not there for you
Makes it so hard to leave
What I'd give
What I'd do
Anything to get me home to you
And this time I'll stay

And you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me


Vanilla Twilight
Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find opposing new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.


Two Is Better Than One
Boys Like Girls (Ft. Taylor Swift)

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
Cause everything you do
And words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And I am left with nothing

So maybe its true
That I cant live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
Cause when i close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

Then maybe its true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
I'm thinking two is better than one
(oh yeah)
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And i thought hey

Maybe it's true
That I cant live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
That I cant live without you
Cause maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I've figured out
When all is said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one.


I'm Only Me When I'm With You
Taylor Swift

Friday night beneath the stars,
in a field behind your yard,
you and I are paintin' pictures in the sky.
And sometimes we don't say a thing;
just listen to the crickets sing.
Everything I need is right here by my side.
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you.

[Chorus:]
I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

Just a small town boy and girl
livin' in a crazy world.
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true.
And I don't try to hide my tears.
The secrets or my deepest fears.
Through it all nobody gets me like you do.
And you know everything about me.
You say that you can't live without me.

[Chorus]

When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself.
Only you can tell.

[Chorus:]
That I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me
Who I wanna be
Well, I'm only me when I'm with you
With you
Uh huh
Yeah


Eight- Dollar Engagement Rings
NeverShoutNever!

We met more than two years back
It's frightning how time can go by so fast that you don't even notice when it's gone
There's something about Ohio that I can't help but love
But sometimes the highway miles seem so long

So don't cry darling
I'll be there in the morning but you know
That the worst part is always heading home

We spend so much time apart
I know sometimes it's hard but girl if there's one thing I'm sure of it is us
Besides we have the small things like eight-dollar engagement rings
To keep us sane till you get on that bus

So don't cry darling
You'll be here in the the morning but you know
That the worst part is always heading home

One day we'll start our new life behind the glow of the pale city lights
In an apartment of our own
It will be so perfect and we'll both know that it was worth the wait
I can hardly wait for that day to come

So don't cry darling
Cause one day every morning we'll both know
That the best is always heading home.


Finale
Nightmare Before Christmas

My dearest friend, if you don't mind
I'd like to join you by your side
Where we can gaze into the stars

And sit together, now and forever
For it is plain as anyone can see
We're simply meant to be.


Bring Me To Life
Evanescence

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead

All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything

Without thought, without voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life



This post has been pretty pointless... but it's cheered me up..

Peace out x

(Blog Title: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City)

" I'm Through Accepting Limits 'Cause Someone Says They're So. Somethings I Cannot Change But 'Till I Try I'll Never Know! "

Congratulations on Ni getting a distinction in College yesterday - I'm proud of you baby! xx

I went to my interview with the Sixth Form principal yesterday. Despite having no GCSE's to my name he said its a yes from him to me joining the course... I just need a yes from the Diploma people and I'm good to go! Thanks to all the people who kept me optimistic - Mum, Lynn, Emily, Niall and Buddha - and thanks Emily for those amazing presents you gave me! You really didn't need to... but I really did love them :) You're so sweet.

Mummy, I love spending time with you... I really hope we can do it more often.

I've been working hard on the Godchild script a lot today... and planning a victorian dress for a doll. Does anyone have any pointers at the pattern for the dress? They'd be much appreciated.

Anyway, I'mma gonna go xx

Toodles x

P.S : Cutting yourself shaving legs hurts!

(Blog Title: Defying Gravity from WICKED... performed by the GLEE cast)

"Its A New Dawn, It's A New Day, It's A New Life For Me. And I'm Feelin'... Gooooooodddd...."

I have spent the last three days prepping for my sixth form interview tomorrow. This involved writing up 5 a3 ostume pages for Earl Cain Hargreaves .... make up designs... a LOT of printing... self assessments ... storyboards... eye drawings .... and my immortal cover pages with notes. I have hand cramp.

Wish me luck for tomorrow... :S

x

(Blog Title : Feelin' Good by John Barrowman)

"Maybe It's True, I Can't Live Without You. And Maybe Two Is Better Than One"

"I Found The Cure To Growing Older, And You're The Only Place That Feels Like Home."

Niall is once again staying here - YAY!

He arrived on Thursday the 1st... over a week ago. Nain and Pops were staying to help Mum out with the Middlesborough thing (Grandad is well on the way to recovery and is now back home and as demanding as always) so Nain and Pops took me up to Carlisle to meet him. We went shopping for a few hours (me not having much money so only buying a t-shirt with a Dinosaur on it and a book about the Circus). Nain bought me a Buddha for my birthday.
We went to collect Niall and as always there was the awkwardness of 'have I changed too much? Will he have gone off me?' as I had put on weight. But it was all good in the hood and we came back swiftly and happily (not releasing hands the entire time :G)

Friday 2nd we mooched around the house a bit... Nain and Pops were still here and I spent the day saying 'It's my Birthday tomorrow!!'

Saturday 3rd was my 16th!!
On the Friday night I had stayed up with Niall until 2 minutes past 12 so he could be the first to wish me Happy Birthday (our curfew is 12).
Then I woke up on Saturday morning all excited. I stay in my parents room when Niall comes to stay, so I was alone. I came downstairs and wasn't allowed in the main house, so went to 'wake' Niall up. We cuddled, then came through and Nain and Pops and Dad weren't up, so I sat on the kitchen floor to protest. As tradition in our house, on birthdays we get up bright and early to have croissants and bacon (veggie for me) and open presents.
When everyone EVENTUALLY got up, we opened presents.
I got :
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampires Assistant DVD
True Blood (The entire book series)
A grey and black dress
Sims 2 PC Game
Dear Me (Letters to my teenage self) Book
The Dalai Lama Secrets To Enlightenment Book
Tights
All from my Mum and Dad

Fake Snake Print Converse from Devan

Buddha
Perfume
From Nain and Pops

A bag and some lip gloss that tastes like Sprite
from Niall's Mum Elise

Money towards a drama course from Grandad

Money from relatives

A notebook and money from Emily, Lynn and Alan (I feel very priveleged to recieve the first present Emily picked out herself!)

A beautiful Hell Bunny dress from Niall. He seriously spoils me so much!

During the day Niall and I went into town to buy a Lottery ticket... we didn't win though (N)
Lynn and Emily came round to share some cake and have a chat
And then in the evening Mum, Dad, Devan, Niall and I went out for a proper grown up meal. We went to an Italian resaurant and the food was delicious.

Sunday 4th was Easter. Once again we got up bright and early to go outside to see what the Easter Bunny had left us. I love Easter morning and watching Devan's reactions when he discovers all the little groups of chocolate eggs the Bunny leaves. We didn't really do much else during the day.

Monday 5th my Uncle and my Mum's friend came up to stay. Janet is so awesome :L she can make everyone feel happy.
Lynn and Emily came round again and we had a tea party, complete with Eat Me cakes and Jam Tarts... they were DELICIOUS. The birthday cake stuff didn't arrive on time though (N)

Tuesday 6th Niall and I went and volunteered at Oxfam... where my Dad works. I loved it - I got to organise stuff - but Niall was sorta bored and that evening we had our first argument. It really wasn't pleasant... especially as it's Niall and he is truly my world, and he doesn't like 'control freak' Millie... which is bad as she is about 35% me....

Wednesday 7th we went to the Dentist in the morning, then I went and got my NOSE PIERCED!! The guy who did it was really nice, he made me feel not scared. He had an australian/cumbrian accent :L.

Thursday 8th we went into Keswick for shopping. Niall bought me a red spotty teapot!

Friday 9th my Aunt came to stay.

Saturday 10th we went to Penrith shopping. It was so boiling! I found out B&M bargains was my new favourite shop.

Sunday 11th we went to the Car Boot in the morning, and Niall bought some records. Stupidly, one of the records he did pick up but didn't buy because he thought it would have been worthless was worth about £700!

Monday 12th we went to Workington again, this time for shopping. Once again we had another argument that evening because Niall had found the day disappointing because he ran out of money. I hardly ever have money so it doesn't depress me when I'm skint, but Niall gets £30 a week and had none. His depressiveness made me sad... (P.S Happy Birthday Brendon Urie!)

Today - Tuesday 13th - I'm working on my storyboard for my interview!!! It's on Monday and I'm SCARED!

Hope everyones good (Y)

Peace x

(Blog Title: Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year by Fall Out Boy)

"Lights Will Guide You Home, And Ignite Your Bones. And I Will Try To Fix You."

Sunday 21st March 2010

11.30pm: Millie closes her laptop and goes into her bedroom. She does the usual, gets ready for bed, puts the stereo on with soft music to sleep to, gets into bed, closes her eyes. She drifts off into a deep sleep.

Monday 22nd March 2010

12.30am: Millie dreams of her deceased Grandmother, who died 12 years ago of multiple heart attacks. It is a troubled dream, though unlikely to be. Her grandmother only stands in a field of wheat wearing black. She holds out her arms to something to her left....

1am: Millie's Grandad wakes up with pain in his jaw and shoulder blade. He calls for Millie's mum, his daughter. She diagnoses a heart attack and aalls emergency services.

1.30pm: Grandad and Millie's Mum depart for hospital.


The days pass... Monday to Friday. Grandad gets better in hospital.

Yet Millie remains freaked out. She has had history of psychic visions in dreams and frequently they are true. She is just waiting... still.

Touch wood.





(Blog Title: Fix You by Coldplay, covered by Secondhand Serenade)

"Seeing Is Believing, & Believing Is Lying"

Dictionary definition of 'Psychic' -
–adjective -
1.of or pertaining to the human soul or mind; mental (opposed to physical).
2.Psychology. pertaining to or noting mental phenomena.
3.outside of natural or scientific knowledge; spiritual.
4.of or pertaining to some apparently nonphysical force or agency: psychic research; psychic phenomena.
5.sensitive to influences or forces of a nonphysical or supernatural nature.

–noun-
6.a person who is allegedly sensitive to psychic influences or forces; medium.

-person-
Millie.

Over the years I have had visions and things like that which often come true.

Before I tell you some of them; Firstly, don't read on if you are a non believer. Secondly, understand 'psychic' is not the hollywood crap... reading of minds by looking at someone. Some psychics can do that, but most cant. There are many branches of being psychic. Some can read auras (such as me); some can talk to spirits; some can predict someones next move or sentence (I can do that sometimes); some say something and it turns out correct ('I reckon you'll meet so and so on Tuesday' 'I haven't seen him in ages' .. Tuesday: 'OH MY GOD, so and so!'... I do this sometimes) and some see visions in dreams (this last one is me).

When I was little I used to talk to my deceased great grandad when I was put to bed at night. I don't remember this, but my parents heard me over the listener. Butterflies (the spirits of the dead) seem to love me in Summer...

The night before Madeline McCann disappeared I was dreaming that I was walking on a beach - perectly normal - but then I was in a hotel room and the window was open. I could hear a child crying and then being led away. I followed her but then I woke up... Next morning her disappearance was front page news.

The night before the plane landed on the Hudson I dreamt I was on a plane and suddenly the floor gave way and we were in water....

Before me and my family were in a car crash, we were driving to school. Mum went a completely new way to what she usually went, and I got worked out about it. Then we crashed.

One night it was windy and I asked to bring the rabbit inside, my parents did. Next morning the hutch was smashed against the wall outside and the rabbit was safe.

The night my Grandad had a heart attack I dreamt of my Nanny - who died of heart attacks and was Grandad's wife.



Just stuff like that... and it's getting stronger...

(Blog Title: Sometimes I Wish I Was Born A Butterfly by AceOfHearts)

"So Sing Us A Song Of The Century"

You may want to let the video buffer before watching it so it runs smoothly.

This is a video that shows the major aspects of the last decade.

Made by me, I don't own pictures or music.

Music is Kings And Queens by 30 Seconds To Mars.

Comments are very welcome, hope you enjoy it.

(Blog Title: Song Of The Century by Green Day)

"Welcome To The Tea Party, Wanna Be My V.I.P"

Me and my brother made some fairy cakes yesterday and this is the result :



They were going to be 'eat me' cakes, but we had no writing icing, so they're 'anime' style buns instead - bright coloured and vibrant. They were blooming gorgeous aswell!! Lots of vanilla :G

I don't get how, though, my brother can watch me put colouring in, know it's just an ingredient like flour and egg, and then refuse to eat the cake 'cuz they is blue'.... ??

(Blog Title: Tea Party by Kerli (Alice In Wonderland OST) )

"We Swam In The Fountains, Beneath The Morning Stars. We Cried From The Laughter & Died In Each Others Arms. Remember, & Live Forever."

Here is an extract for my current book, due for publishing July 2010. All names, ideas, plotlines and characters are copyrighted to the author, which is me.

The story follows 17 year old Shamira Maddox, born 1773, died 1790. Shamira was a bit of a slut, always moving from bed to bed. But one night she got raped and murdered by a boy with electric blue eyes. Once entering Heaven, she goes through 'processing' and is deemed worthy of a second chance... then the fall begins.
Shamira - now officially a 'Fallen Angel' - is assigned to 17 year old Dinah Niyati, a rebellious girl, born 1993, who gambles with her life on a regular basis. It is Shamira's job to protect her from an unknown evil and reclaim her place in Heaven.
But can Shamira convince Dinah that her story is true and she is not just high on drugs, can Dinah keep up the secret act and try to set her life straight? Can Shamira protect Dinah as a Guardian Angel should, or is the evil force stronger than both girls expect?


Heaven Forbid (Extract)

“Like I said, time stops still up there. Why do you think I’m so hungry?” Shamira said. “It was fun watching the world change however. Watching people develop. I got tremendously life sick though.” Her voice tailed off for a moment, then she snapped back. “After the waiting room we were sorted into three groups. The first group were good and worthy enough for the Golden Gates. They were each handed gold halos and white wings.” She said it powerfully. “The second group was for Hell, for the really bad people. They were handed demon horns and a one way ticket to timeless torture.” Shamira’s eyes glittered. “And the third group was for the ones in the middle. The ones who were bad, but had good traits too.” She sniffed. “We were handed black halos and black wings and sent to a sort of concentration camp for a few years, or hours in our case. We had to wait for Lucifer, who would then come and brief us on our situation and assign us each a problem case to try and crack, in order to prove ourselves and earn our gold crowns and white wings.” Shamira sounded disheartened. “Then we were given a ‘substitute soul’ to live on, then pushed out into the atmosphere and that’s where the fall begins.” Shamira shuddered. “Plummeting to Earth at 500 miles an hour through the icy atmosphere.”
“How come you’re never seen?” Dinah asked.
“We are. What do you think shooting stars are?” Shamira asked.
“So say you’re telling the truth and you are actually a fallen angel...” Dinah licked her lips. “Prove it.” Her eyes glittered maliciously. Shamira looked at her for a few moments, surveying Dinah’s expression. Then, slowly, she got to her feet and stood in the middle of the kitchen floor.
“Are you ready for this?” Shamira asked. Dinah nodded, clutching the back of her chair impatiently. Part of her wanted to believe Shamira’s impressive story, but part of her knew it couldn’t be real.
“Impendo pennae.” Shamira said, softly, and instantly a beautiful pair of black wings sprouted from her shoulder blades. They were each about 5 foot long and curved upwards. Dinah’s jaw dropped. They were made of what seemed to be elongated crows feathers and looked incredibly soft and shiny. “Niger flos videor.” Shamira muttered and a black halo appeared above her head, bathing her in a silvery light. The halo shimmered and set rings of silver in Shamira’s long black hair. She had her arms outstretched in a powerful stance.
“Do you believe me now?” Shamira asked. Dinah nodded slowly, her jaw still hanging down. Shamira smiled and closed it for her. Shamira’s skin felt soft and cool, like it wasn’t really there.
“I’m dreaming. Imagining things. This can’t be real.” Dinah muttered.
“I could pinch you if you would like.” Shamira laughed, holding her painted nails up in a pinching gesture.
“I thought guardian angels were...” Dinah started, not sure how to continue.
“Were what? White, gold, pretty?” Shamira asked defensively.
“More... breath taking.” Dinah replied. Shamira raised an eyebrow.
“I could be breath taking if I chose to be. I could throttle you, that would be breath taking.” Shamira threatened, her whole personality sharpening.

.............


What do you think??

(Blog Title : Live Forever by The Rasmus)

"The Light In Your Eyes Keeps Fading Out, You Fall Deeper In The Hole "

Here is an extract from my current screenplay.

(C)

GODCHILD


GRANDFATHER
You look like her. And him.

SUDDENLY GRANDFATHER snatches forward and seizes CAIN’s wrist. CAIN cries out.

GRANDFATHER
You are cursed!

CAIN shuts his eyes tight. It goes black.

GRANDFATHER
Godchild.

THE TITLE APPEARS ON THE SCREEN AS GRANDFATHER SAYS “GODCHILD”.

Credits run over the following footage.

FADE IN
QUICKLY:

INT. CARRIAGE – DAY.

ON CAIN

CAIN awakes with a jerk. He is sweating and panting.

WIDE SHOT OF THE INSIDE OF THE CARRIAGE

RIFF sits opposite CAIN. RIFF looks worriedly at CAIN.

RIFF
Dreaming, Sir?

CAIN
Yes.

RIFF
Not a good one, I presume.

CAIN
My dreams are seldom good, Riff. I do not dream of good things. I dream only of odd things. Just once I wish I could dream of fine women or good fortune. But no, instead I get my Mother; neither a fine women nor a good fortune. Why must she always appear to me in my dreams? Why must she forever torment me with her memory? Is it not hard enough already?

RIFF
Perhaps she is checking up on you.

CAIN
She forever warns me of my Father. Saying that he is getting stronger.

RIFF
Your Father is dead...

CAIN
I am aware of that.


RIFF
I don’t dream of anything. Just darkness. And screaming.

CAIN
Personally, I’d rather that.

RIFF
At least they are only dreams, Milord.

CAIN
Yes.

CAIN looks out of the window. RIFF follows suit.


SLOWLY PAN BACK OUT OF THE WINDOW AND UP.


EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY.

The carriage trundles through a short stretch of woodland along a well ridden road. It is a black carriage pulled by two black horses.

PAN UP TO SHOW A LARGE MANOR HOUSE

The carriage pulls off the road and into the large driveway outside the house. It stops outside the large front door.

ON THE CARRIAGE DOOR

RIFF gets out of the carriage door and opens the door wider for CAIN.

CAIN gets out of the carriage feet first with his black walking cane. He nods in thanks at RIFF.

RIFF shuts the door behind CAIN.

CAIN looks up at the Manor. There are people milling around outside, all in party gear. RIFF shuts the door.

ON CAIN AND RIFF

CAIN
Aristocrats clinging to the world of envy, jealousy, new money and authority. How is it the Mayfield Baroncy is able to host such a splendid, expensive party? Rumours have it they stand on the edge of bankruptcy.

CAIN steps away from the carriage as it pulls away again. RIFF hands CAIN his top hat.

RIFF
You shouldn’t dwell too much on rumours, Sir.

CAIN
Most likely this party is to please their beloved daughter, Victoria.

RIFF
They say she is quite beautiful.

CAIN
By my experience the beautiful people are always the worst to socialise with. So pretentious and full of themselves.

RIFF
Would you say that if they came to you for a good night, Sir.

CAIN laughs.

CAIN
Of course not. I’d welcome her with open arms.

RIFF laughs.

RIFF
I thought not. I see now why your sister frets about all the time you spend with women.

CAIN
Mary is still young. She’ll understand one day when she needs the company of a man.

RIFF
Although that Oscar would rip any potential suitor’s throat out.

CAIN’s face flashes with disgust.

CAIN
Oscar needs to grow up also.

RIFF
He certainly cares for Mary.

CAIN
A certain part of her he certainly does.

RIFF clears his throat awkwardly. CAIN looks at him.

CAIN
I suppose Oscar is a good man... deep, deep, deep down.

RIFF
Your opinion is your opinion, Sir.

CAIN
Although you think it is wrong.

RIFF
And my opinion is mine.

CAIN smiles. RIFF smiles back.

CAIN
Shall we?

CAIN puts his top hat on his head and begins to walk towards the house.

RIFF follows like a shadow.

CREDITS stop.



(I do not own the characters or the storylines. I am merely the screenplayer)

Let me know what you think :)

(Blog Title: Dancer In The Dark by The Rasmus)

"Why Shoulder Off The Crowd? Why Be The Only One..."

Today at Youth Theatre I was forced to endure pain as Thom and Tess hugged right in front of my eyes. I very nearly broke down crying there and then because I remember when Thom would rush in and hug me... but then I think - was I ever really that special to him? I was a shoulder for him to cry on, but never was he a shoulder for me to cry on - not truly. I was someone who made him look good, but never someone to make him feel good about. Once or twice did we ever truly have a heart to heart discussion, and this was back at the newborn friendship stage. He said once that he felt he could trust me more than anybody else in the entire world, and indeed he told me things he'd never told anybody else. It could have been a line, what he said then, but something in his eyes said otherwise. But then again, he is an actor. And he is also a mirror. You look at him and see what you want to see. You talk to him and hear what you want to hear. Not once does the mirror crack, only at the end and it shatters into one thousand tiny pieces. If he is truly that but a mirror, then I must endure 7 years bad luck, or look upon him a mere seven times before he is gone for good. I've currently seen him twice, and once more next week - so after that four more times and he's gone.
If you asked me four weeks ago if I could live without Thom, I would have said 'No' in a heartbeat, because he had me under his spell. But I've always had a knack for breaking curses and enchantments. Sure, his hypnotism worked for a few months, but everything must come to an end.
Since Tess came on the scene I've slowly come to feel more and more seperate from he I called 'Best Friend'. He would spend time with more people and never time with me. He would tell Tess things that he would not tell me.... like when he got a boyfriend... I didn't find out for weeks afterwards, when I heard it from Tess.
And don't get me started on Tess... I was never really close to her, not like I had been with Thom... but we got on and had a good laugh. I made the mistake of telling her things that I perhaps shouldn't have, things that basically hold life and death for a certain aspect of my life, and then she betrayed me with them. She always let me down - once left me sitting in Keswick for an hour waiting for her to get her arse out of bed... I don't know why - now looking back - I put up with it. But then, people have always been able to walk all over me. My song 'BeLIEve'... linked here: http://anarchyangel94.deviantart.com/art/BeLIEve-148546302 is about her... ironically it was the first song written in the book Thom got me for Christmas.
Just tonight, while watching Thom and Tess, I looked back on all the good times I've had with Thom and I nearly had to run out of the room in tears. He made me feel so special, so loved - like I belonged somewhere finally. And then - when I trusted him - he led me to the slaughter. He was almost like his beloved vampires in that way ... he looks perfect, acts perfect and speaks perfect; he lures you in, gets you believing - then kills you in one bite.
I just feel so sorry for all of his ex's who he screwed over, no wonder they left him, and all the friends and lovers he will have in the future. I give him three years - and then he'll realise what he could have had.

"You know you're nothing in my life, you're just a joke 'til the end." She Gets Around - Elliot Minor

"He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes." ~ Buddha ~

(Blog Title: All Along by Elliot Minor, which is my 'theme song'.. the song that best describes me)

"Losing The Feeling Of Feeling Unique"

Playing Card Dress, Eccentric Make-Up, Top Hat, Bright Red Shoes ... sound like a costume list for a low budget production of Alice In Wonderland. Well, it's not. This is just the typical outfit warn by me.
I wear odd and eccentric clothing to - as my Mum puts it - hide behind. Most people - when feeling self conscious or not confident - dress down and hide behind the crowd. I don't. I dress UP and stand out. It makes me feel good about myself. When people point and laugh at me, or even when they run away screaming, I just smile and think to myself 'Hallelujah, thank Lucifer for quirkiness'. I don't get why people want to dress normal and be a 'clone'... where's the fun and individuality in that? Everyone bangs on about 'being individual', when in actual fact hardly anybody has the guts to stand up scream to heavens "Hell, I'm individual, I'm original and I don't give a flaming SH@T!" For me, being different is a breath of fresh air. I thrive upon being individual, even when people shoot me down. Just today I was shot down, and sure, I felt like I wanted to rip my dress to shreds, pull my hair decorations out to the extent my hair came out with them, and scrub the make up off my face so hard it took my skin off with it, but that feeling passed quickly afterwards. Me not being individual is like a cat not having fur. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, and yes, I may be branded a 'freak' and beaten down, but at the end of the day - it's only because the person doing the beating is too scared to admit their own individuality.

Hell, I am what I am, I am my special creation ! (See the 'song of the week')



~ "Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it.
Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held.
Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books.
Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin.
Believe nothing just because someone else believes it.
Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true." ~ Buddha ~

(Blog Title : Nine In The Afternoon by Panic! At The Disco)

" These Experiences Make Us Stronger, But Strength Makes Us Frail "

Check out my new song - I think it's cool. Let me know what you think please xxx

http://anarchyangel94.deviantart.com/art/Mara-155087893


(Blog Title : Mara by AceOfHearts)

"Dressed Up As Myself To Live In The Shadow Of Who I'm Supposed To Be"

May I recommend www.lumosity.com . It's a brain training site. You join it - for free, just email, password, username and bobs your uncle - and then you go on every day and take three tests. They're fun and easy games to test your levelling.

It's good (Y)

(Blog title: Sick Little Games by All Time Low)

"This Song Is Like A Poem, Not Like A Song At All"

Moose On The Loose (A Silly Poem)

Moose on the loose in the wilderness
He’s got kicked out for his creativeness
He liked to tell stories of cabbages and kings
And princes and fairies and wedding rings.
The others didn’t like it though
And they told poor old moosey to go.

He wanders out of the trees to the town
And stops to gaze all around
He wanders down an empty street
And then he hears an almighty shriek.
He gallops off to find the source
And finds a ginger cat stuck in sauce!

She has spaghetti all over their matted fur
Poor moosey must answer her purr.
He hooks her up in his mighty horns
And when she’s all out he warns
“Never get stuck in a spaghetti pool”
And the cat replied, “I didn’t you fool.”

The moose blinked back tears and shook his head
“I guess I’ll just continue my journey instead.”
The cat twitched her tail and her breath out she blew.
“I guess you can stay for dinner for two.”
The moose smiled a smile and stood by the dish.
“To think I’ve been telling stories of talking fish!
This is the life, the life here this is.
And it’s all thanks to you my young ginger miss.”

They ate spaghetti companionably for day after day
But then the moose stood to regretfully say,
“I must leave this town my dear kitty friend.
For I have relationships with friends to amend.”
The moose bowed his head and with a swish of his tail
He headed back south to the woods without fail.

By Me


(Blog Title: Someone 'Special' by AceOfHearts)

"What Do You Say To Taking Chances? What Do You Say To Jumping Off The Edge?"

Hopefully my first EP. (yn)
Whadya think?
:)

(Blog Title: Taking Chances by Glee Cast)

" Keep Holding On, Cuz You Know We'll Make It Through, We'll Make It Through. Just Stay Strong, Cuz You Know I'm Here For You, I'm Here For You "

In the style of the Oscars, I have a speech prepared to thank all the people who have helped me stay strong.


Announcer: The award for strongest person in a heart-breaking, life-changing situation goes to MILLIE

(Millie looks up, bewildered. She had no idea that this award would go to her, but nevertheless shes stumbles to her feet and makes her way up to the stage. She takes the award and stares at it, then takes her place at the podium. She clears her throat and looks out over the audience)

Millie: I didn't expect this, honestly. I didn't do anything special during this difficult time. I wanted no arguments... so I just stayed out of it. But people did fight my battles for me. Mum, thank you so much for being there when tears streamed down my cheeks because of the pain of the knife in my back. You hugged me and comforted me and talked with me long into the night. Dad, you were so supportive of it all and - although tempered - helped me finally come to the realisation of what a 'friend' truly is. Devan, you made me laugh... Lynn and Emily, you guys have been just as supportive about this whole thing through blog comments and hugs. I look forward to coming to yours again so I can get a true release. Oscar, you kept me sane and your hugs are warm and fluffy. La Toya and EmiIly... thank you guys for being so protective. And most importantly, Niall. You are the reason I kept going and stayed strong. You are my sunshine and my stars and I couldn't live without you. I love you. And now I'm being prompted to finish my speech, so thanks again to all of these people. Everything happens for a reason, and I've grown up and matured even more from this experience. At least now I'm prepared. They say if you get your heart broken it never heals... but mine has thanks to my amazing support. Sure, it'll be sore for a while and sometimes it'll pang for no reason, but I'll make it through.

(Millie kisses the award and then bows to the audience. She beams. This is a tremendous moment for her in terms of realisation. She then exits the stage, award held high. She's made it through the rain, and baby the rainbow is beautiful)



(Blog title: Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne)

"This Is A Town With No History, Welcome To Mystery

Wonderland

Twinkle twinkle little bat.
How I wonder where you're at?
Up above the world you fly
Like a tea tray in the sky.
Oh twinkle twinkle little bat,
How I wonder where you're at?

One trip,
One fall.
That's all it takes to make it through
Today.
One trip,
One fall.
That's all I want to make it through
Today.

Hold onto your hats,
Because I'm going to get out of here.
I'm going to reach the surface again.
Hold onto your hats,
Because I'm coming back.
Oh yeah, I'm coming back.

Welcome to Wonderland,
Welcome to Hell.
Welcome to the place of dementia,
We all know it well.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Welcome to the dead.
You'd better hold on tight,
Because you're going to lose your head.

One breath,
One smile.
That's all it takes to make you want to
Cry.
One breath,
One smile.
That's all I want to make me
Cry.

Hold onto your hats,
Because I'm going to get out of here.
I'm going to reach the surface again.
Hold onto your hats,
Because I'm coming back.
Oh yeah, I'm coming back.

Welcome to Wonderland,
Welcome to Hell.
Welcome to the place of dementia,
We all know it well.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Welcome to the dead.
You'd better hold on tight,
Because you're going to lose your head.

Eat me, drink me,
Quadrille around with me.
Will you dance or will you cave?
Eat me, drink me,
Quadrille around with me.
Will you dance right to your grave?

Hold onto your hats,
Because I'm going to get out of here.
I'm going to reach the surface again.
Hold onto your hats,
Because I'm coming back.
Oh yeah, I'm coming back.

Welcome to Wonderland,
Welcome to Hell.
Welcome to the place of dementia,
We all know it well.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Welcome to the dead.
You'd better hold on tight,
Because you're going to lose your head.

I don't want to go among mad people.
I'm afraid you can't help that.
We're all mad here.

Twinkle twinkle little bat.
How I wonder where you're at?
Up above the world you fly
Like a tea tray in the sky.
Oh twinkle twinkle little bat,
How I wonder where you're at?


A song inspired by Alice In Wonderland.
I went to see it today and it is now officially my favouritist film ever in the whole entire world! I'm going to see it another gazillion times, no doubt. :) Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter? One of his best roles to date I think, and he has a LOT. Jack Sparrow takes the cake though ... :L ... followed by Willy Wonka :)
I highly recommend the film to all :) ignore the bad reviews.

Oh, and Lynn, you've been very quiet recently!

(Blog Title: Welcome To Mystery by Plain White T's (Alice In Wonderland OST) )

"My Baby Is A Dancer In The Dark"

"Amaya cocked her head to one side and sniffed deeply. From where she was perched on the end of the banister, she could smell the subtle ecstasy that was young blood. It was pumping through his veins as freely as the river before it plummets into the pool. It made Amaya’s mouth run dry just smelling it – imagine the taste. It was enough to make her lose all control and pounce on him. The boy in front of her trembled so much Amaya could hear his joints sliding around. She smiled – the hungry smile she always used on victims. Her eyes shone red and one corner of her mouth slid up in a wolf like smirk. Slowly she ran her tongue over her fangs, her mouth slightly open so the boy could see. Amaya could hear his heart about to pack up and stop beating. Amaya laughed softly, the kind of laugh that would send chills running all over a victim’s body. The boy gulped loudly, then stood up straight and cleared his throat.
‘Bless him.’ Amaya thought. He was trying to be brave. Maybe she would humour him. Besides, that made it more fun...."

"Dancer In The Dark"
Due to be published May 7th.
Characters and Story (C)

(Blog Title: Dancer In The Dark by The Rasmus)

"I Believe If You Need Me To, I'll Risk My Neck, I'll Go Down With You"

I like making quizzes, so I made one for Elliot Minor songs... and then took it myself. My answer was...


To take it yourself, copy and paste this in the bar at the top :)

http://quizilla.teennick.com/quizzes/16298096/which-elliot-minor-song-are-you



To take others... copy and paste this :)

http://quizilla.teennick.com/my/stuff

The friend situation is over. Niall finally had the last word and then blocked off all contact.. I just have to see Tess tomorrow at YT but I won't talk to her...

The Doctor's And The Nurses They Adore Me So! But, It's Really Quite Alarming Because I'm Such An Awful F!ck!

http://quizilla.teennick.com/quizzes/16293664/which-epic-rock-song-are-you This is a quiz I made :) check it out ! :) (It would be very much appreciated)

This argument thing has been going on almost a week now.... I never wanted it to go on so long. I wish everyone would just forget about arguing and continue their own lives.... I'm being accused of not being brave enough to fight my own battles when actually I don't want to fight any.. neither me or people fighting them for me. I appreciate all Toya and Emiily have done for me, but I really didn't need it.
Hopefully the spark'll fizzle out soon... but now the frightful four are sending me threats about punching me and slapping me - both things of which are likely to cause internal bleeding and probably kill me. I really hate my life right now... the only good things are Niall, my family and Toya and Emiily for sticking up for me. I wish I was strong. I wish I was confident. But I never have been and never will be. I'm good at putting on a brave face when inside I'm dying... I guess that's good enough. But each night I still cry myself to sleep. The other night I had a dream that Thommie hugged me and said 'It's all forgotten, I still love you.' and I woke up and cried my eyes out until 4am (this is from about 2am). I'm scared to sleep now, but scared to stay awake. I think if I didn't have Niall and my parents I would have ended it... which is something I've never considered before in my life. That shows how bad this situation is.
But I won't, don't worry. :) Although I do very much want to return a vampire... I wouldn't have to guts and plus, Niall needs me. I need him too...

Just 4 and a bit weeks to go... I'll manage it. Somehow.

On the bright side, I have my old job back. There is always a brightside. Always light at the end of the tunnel, always silver lining on the black rain cloud. Buddha's helped me a lot too. And the bands I listen to... they speak to me when I feel like this. They tell me things to keep me strong.

Provehito in Altum (30 Seconds To Mars motto, it means 'Launch Forth Into The Deep' I think... )

"I'll keep smiling. I'll keep wearing this mask. After all, it's all I have."

Alice In Wonderland is out of FRIDAY!!!!

God this post is so bi-polar! Happy, sad, depressive, happy, depressive, odd, depressive.. random... lol.

(Blog Title: Blood by My Chemical Romance)



And for those who called me bitchy ...



"I Am Not Afraid To Keep On Living, I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone. Honey, If You Stay I'll Be Forgiving. Nothing You Can Say Could Stop Me Going Home."
~Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance~